Smoltz, but No Cigar

Every human has a fight or flight mechanism that kicks in during times of stress. During John Smoltz's first outing back from major shoulder surgery last week, that flight instinct manifested itself as a very hittable slider.

In last Thursday match up against the Nationals, the 42-year-old threw 10 sliders in just the first inning (which stretched a grueling 34-pitches). With a less than stellar slider these days, this was a clear sign that he was in trouble, and he was looking for ways out.

Today, he threw zero first inning sliders. This means that he's more comfortable with his pitches, and is more in command. Today, he kept the off-speed pitches down. Today, he decided to fight.

Now, it's certainly easy to forget the plusses when the bullpen puts forth such a putrid showing. It's just too bad that their stinkfest had to outshine Smoltz's real comeback. In what would be the biggest comeback in the history of the Orioles franchise, Red Sox "relievers" gave up five runs in two consecutive innings, after Adam Jones, on of the most dangerous young players in the leauge, left the game. Ten runs between Masterson, Okajima, and Saito? Seriously? This is a team that crumbled to the Sox 11 times in the last twelve meetings, mind you. Since when did Oscar Salazar coming off the bench strike fear into the hearts of major league pitchers? So many questions... so little time.

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Papelbon Earns his place

Jon Papelbon is officially the first past the post. Knotching his 132nd save as a Red Sox closer, Paps finished did in four years what took Bob Stanley 13-years to do. No wonder why his Cube efficiency rating is 100. Obviously, it's rediculous to think that this consistently will keep up over the next nine-years (or even that he'll be in a Sox jersey for that whole time).

But he could certainly be the next Mariano Rivera - a man he so admires. He could even notch the 500 in less time than it took the Sandman.

While Paps doesn't share the same moral vacuum that pin-striped baseball players tend to enjoy, Jon Papelbon and Mariano Rivera do share a similar quality: intimidation.

Rivera's was a quite dominance. Papelbon's is much more boisterous, and borderline brash. But they both provide their respective teams with an assurance and a confidence that is immesuarble to team morale. Having the "ace in the hole" that can be counted on, day-in and day-out to slam the door gives more of an edge to a team than any ace starter could.

So while today may have belonged to Rivera, Jon Papelbon will be sleeping well tonight too.

Real Men Wear Pink

During their stretch in Washington, the Red Sox are staying at the Mayflower Hotel, a top-notch hotel of Elliot Spitzer fame.

After check out today, not one, not two, but at least Red Sox players did some shopping at Pink, a super-chic men's shop in the hotel. Papelbon and Baldelli did some fany window shopping, and even Brad Penny looked to drop a pretty penny in pink.

Looks like the new uniforms weren't enough for the boys in Beantown. A cheaper alternative would be just throwing those Red Sox in with a some whites... home made pink that doesn't cost $300 per shirt.

Sox Spank Nats, Tweeting Reasonably Enjoyable

Watching the Boston Red Sox spank the Nationals, 11-3, on a night like tonight would normally make for a very uninteresting game. But with tonight's match up being in this blog's back yard (that's right... we're now based in DC), it gave us the chance to join this swooping fad known as Twitter.

The live tweets were actually somewhat enjoyable. Highlights (with spelling corrections, of course) are below.

"Didn't see where that jason bay home run landed... Didn't need to"
"Nick Green can even foul out better that Lugo. All around upgrade."
"Brad Penny might actually be able to hit - running out the slow dribbler on the other hand..."
"Nice to see Julian Tavarez again... especially when he is playing for another team."


For our Boston readers who aren't too well versed with Washington "baseball," the Nationals are absolutely abismal. The fact that they can be a major league team with virtually no offense whatsoever and even less pitching depth boggles the mind.

When they announced that tonight's game set a record for attendance at 41,000+, it was absolutely no shocker whatsoever. Immediately after they showed the graphic on the jumbotron, everyone immediately, (and appropriately) started chanting, "Let's go Red Sox."

Anyone who has been to a Sox game in Camden (or any other East Coast stadium outside of New York for that matter) knows that Red Sox Nation has a way of invading neighboring countries.

But tonight was a bit out of hand. If only the Nats had any fans, I'm sure they would have been really offended.

If you are one of the millions wasting their time on Twitter, feel free to waste your time with us at "NotMirabelli."

Everybody else is doing it, why can't we?

As the Sox begin an inter-league stretch in DC (where this fabulous blog is based), whomadeyoumirabelli.com is starting a twitter with live tweets from tonight's game.

Yes, we have sunk to that level...

The username is "NotMirabelli." Check it out.

Marlins Weather the Storm

Welcome Back - From Agent Mirabelli

Blackouts on blogs (as in life), are inexcusable - unless, of course, the comeback is hilarious.

Now, there are certain days for bloggers that are slower than others - and then again you have findings like this, that are really manna from heaven.

It appears that after this blog's namesake retired from the sport of kings (it was a very brief, but illustrious polo career, indeed), he is applying his God-given talents behind a different home.

That's right... good-ole Dougy M. is now a real estate agent in the hustling, bustling metropolis of Traverse City, MI. The fine folks at Coldwell Banker believe that Dougy "obviously has a drive to succeed and a willingness to work hard to achieve his goals."

Wasn't that in his scouting report too? 

Sox Gone Wild: Twin Cities

In what must have been an homage to the New Yankee stadium, Red Sox pitchers were letting them fly in last night's loss to the Twins. They tied a modern day record for most wild pitches in a single game with a whopping six slips. Four of those humdingers came from the apparently spasm ridden hand of Daisuke Matsuzaka. The other two came from Delcarmen, who laid an egg and a half, and Masterson - who tried to clean up after the cracking of said egg. In related news, catcher George Kottaras had a nervous breakdown after tonight's "display," and the Twin Cities negotiation team has been trying to talk him down from the clock tower.

Masterson and Manny (which it feels surprisingly refreshing to call him) have no excuse - but any Red Sox fan could tell you that if they had to put money on one pitcher throwing four wild pitches in a game, it would be none other than Daisuke Matsuzaka.

"Labor" is a good word to associate with the Dice-man. Everything he does now seems tedious - not boring - but tedious. Never known for his quick style of play (or his endurance for that matter), Dice-K through over a hundred pitches tonight... in only five innings. Sox fans have come to realize that the high priced import is far from a sure thing - apparently a Rolaids sponsorship is somewhere in the wings.

But the interesting thing, the element that keeps us coming back for more after getting slapped around for a few hours every six days, is that the difference between a brilliant Dice-K start is a razor-thin line. Half of the (or maybe the only) fun in watching this guy pitch revolves around seeing him get into these sticky situations just to see what kind of pitch he'll invent to get out of them.

It's long and sometimes painful (as we saw tonight) - but at least it's entertaining. Unless, of course, you're poor George Kottaras.

There Comes a Time In Every Man's Life...

Everybody remembers the moment when they finally realized they wouldn't be a superstar slugger. The agonizing truth that you would never win a batting crown usually hits you right between the eyes right around puberty. But for some, it comes much later in life; when you're old, broken down, and so fat that you haven't seen your feet (or other extremities, for that matter) in months. Tonight was David Ortiz's night; when he was finally faced with the devastating realization that 99.9999999% of Massachusetts men have come to grips with: "I just can't hit in the no. 3 spot for the Boston Red Sox."

 

In a move that Terry Francona surely didn't want to have to make, he dropped Ortiz down to the six hole - the first time that Ortiz has batted out of the no. 3 spot since 2005. It was a move that has been several painful weeks in the making. While some say it was a few weeks too late, an even bigger concern with the move is the fact that Jason Bay - who has been absolutely untouchable - was not called up to bat third, and remained in the five spot. However, tonight's lineup of Ellsbury--> Pedroia--> Drew--> Youkilis--> Bay--> Ortiz, makes much more sense, both for the team's average runs scored, and for Ortiz himself, than the old model that Tito has been clinging to like George Clooney in the Perfect Storm.

 

However, Ortiz doesn't seem to be too thrilled about the demotion move. While this may be a shot to Papi's pride - which is as big as his belly - the move does have the potential to rejuvenate the slugger. With enormous pressure off his enormous shoulders - Ortiz will have more of a chance to focus on his mechanics, and not his miscues.

 

Terry Francona is a man who knows how to get the best from his players (case-in-point, Bartolo Colon's turnaround and Mike Lowell's one-eighty). In fact, Ortiz went 1-for-3 with a hustling double - a very welcome sign of life. Perhaps this recent shift in the lineup may just fix some of the holes in this old sock.

(Surprisingly, there is another thirty-something year old with a debilitating wrist injury, that "just can't do it anymore." Of course Ortiz is flashy, but this guy has some serious "pizzazz.")

Why Can't We All Just Get Along

While our Boston roots have taught us to fear, and thus, loath anything that hails from the hellish city five hours south-west, Mets fans deserve some sort of an appreciation from Bay-Staters. We should take time to recognize our brothers in Queens - because unless they grew up in the shadows of Shea Stadium itself - they could just as easily be members of the "evil empire." Red Sox and Mets fans should really have more of a silent understanding.

Surprisingly, however, the tension between those in red and those in orange thicker than a Cape Cod fog - as fans from both sides berated each other throughout the series. Clearly, there weren't as many altercations as there would have been if the Mets' New York City neighbors were playing at Fenway, but the sheer animosity was startling.

Granted, certain players (i.e. one Mr. Gary Sheffield) are less than heroes in Bean-Town, but a little fan-punching never really hurt anyone.

It could be lingering memories from 1986. But in a city with the attention span of a goldfish (no offense - but let's face it - if Manny came back right now and started hitting .400 for the Sox, all would most certainly be forgiven), lingering resentment is a dubious cause at best. Besides, a good portion of the fan base at the games were: (1) not alive when the ball rolled through Billy's legs or, (2) not Red Sox fans when it happened.

The most likely scenario is that Bostonians just hate everything from New York... period. That's their prerogative, although responsible (and more importantly, less-moronic) fandom is always encouraged (just ask people from anywhere else in the world). This should not be taken as a slight to Red Sox fans - hands down the greatest fans on Earth. Rather, it is a simple plea: don't piss off Mets fans - they could easily switch sides and put on pinstripes.

It was surprising to see the amount of Mets fans at the park, and the fervor for which they cheered in enemy territory. While the opposition they met from the hometown team was overwhelming (and rightfully so), everyone could at least rejoice in the time-honored chorus of "YANKEES SUCK!" - a hymn as widely accepted amongst baseball junkies as the American Express card.